1st jan 2014

Hello! Happy new year everyone! Its alwedi 2014, how time flies! I am 18 now and i am so excited haha. May the year filled with His blessings. 

Ya Allah thank you for every single thing i had last year (which was yesterday haha). Problems come and go, but yet i still have the chances to still alive and breathe happily! Thank you for still keeping my family beside me, thanks for giving them the chance to live in this new year same just like me! 

kadang kadang emo. serious. rasa mcm malam malam ni best search pasal religious things. yang buat aku sedar, betapa jauhnya aku dengan pencipta. serious ah. i am not trying to show how pious i am, seriously not. aku tak alim doh. tapi cam bila dh Allah kurniakan otak ni, aku cuba try jadi org yg berguna sikit ah. 

One of biggest thing yg aku try nak buat; try to not mencarut hahahaha yknow like bodoh bangang tu mcm dh lali with the tounge. i mean yknow. those unnecessary words??? maybe i should stop. and try to be a better muslimah instead. kita cuba la. Allah yg tentukan. hee 

So i activate my fb acc just now just for fun just to see how stupid i was back then! nyeh nyeh it is such a shameful to see all the pictures of mine, not wearing tudung pastu rambut minyak minyak omg i just cant. i was so comot, till now pun. 

and the saddest part i could say here is, i re-read our old coversations (comments and IM) and i suddenly cried for some reasons. 

it was sad to know that our friendship ruined just bcs of nothing :( 

sedih doh :( 

dia macam rindu dye lain macam sbb tk contact sbb tktau sbb ape :( 

serious ah. maybe awak tk igt saya dah haha nangis. tapi duh saya igt everything. kenapa ah. dah 2014 aku still sama lagi tulis pasal bende ni kt blog dr dulu kot. its okay. if Allah fated us to be this way, i'll be fineee. i'll be fine heh :)  

two hearts.

So yeah, 

I shouldve stop complaining how my lifes spent, things went not that well but arent that bad. Some shits happened and then comes a rainbow. Shits are probably the lessons that need to be learned. Without pains, theres no gain. But however, i need to take a moment and thank to Allah for giving me the best people, yet love me for who i am; my dearest family. 

The ones that i care the most, the ones that taking care of me since i was a baby. The ones that accept all my flaws wihout any complains and the best part is, they stay. I love u korang. 

But at some part, i feel so empty. Like, u feel like theres a hole in yr heart and need to be filled with something. 

You know living as a single girl isnt that bad, cause freedom is way how u rocked ur world. But i gotta say, i felt so envy how i opened my instagram and saw like most of the girls that i followed, went out with the special ones. spending their holidays together happily gosh i am too jealous ahah i sound so desperate omg. 

But just to be clear, theres a reason why i rasa that way. 

Its hard to love that one person who doesnt love u back. He seems does not know my existance pun. He seems super hate me after i wc him. Its hard tho. (rough times konon). You know u wont get his love but all u can do is simply nothing. Rasa mcm unwanted gila, u get my point rite? Maybe ive been terbiasa ada someone beside everytime i am having my rough times kan which were my friends when i was in highschool. But skrg, this stupid loneliness gives me so much hopes towards everything. haih. 

I literally need to get over these feelings away, these bad feelings!

But i told myself everytime i reached that limit, whre i cried after all. I told myself, Allah wont gives you something precious easily. Cause something that comes easy, wont last. Something that comes last, is precious. And yes, theres a rainbow after hurricanes. Patience is all i need now. Gotta stop overthinking over everything. Let Allah do the rest. Just have faith in Him.

Stay strong aina. Bcs i know, theres still a person, that loves me for who i am and not who i want to be. Thank you Allah. 

tkde function

hi people. 

(sumpah rasa pointless + syok sendiri kalau update blog cause no one will read haha) 

so its been like a month since i finished my freakin sijil pelajaran malaysia haih tk caya pulak rasanya!!! bio was hard. tah, tkde yg senang kot semua mindfuck je.

but then, i feel nothing pun. to be exact, lifes after spm is not as exciting as what i expected tho. masa dulu i was planning to do these and those, hanging out ngn kawan sampai muntah la, layan movie sampai tertonggeng (yes i did!!!!!), ambik lesen la, kerja la and shopping etc etc. 

but at the time i finished my last paper until now..... all i do just tidur makan tidur makan layan movie kekadang hish i feel like so freakin lifeless doh. lagi 3 bulan nak terperap cmni. gila bhai >< 

i gotta say this, 

i miss my classmates. i really do. everyone mcm disappear cmtu je after this they'll go to plkn like wth. rindunya sia kat korang :(( rindu nak jerit nama bapak korang lol, nak kunci orang dlm kelas, nak bagi salam kt cikgu using nama penuh (contohnya selamat pagi puan wan hanina hanim binti wan ahmad) satu kelas bagi salam centu hahahaha, nak kacau haizat, nak kacau afifah, nak gossip with zika and yes nazrin these two both my gossip partner. oh and yes!! farhana.... mana lah dye hilang T__T 

i seriously need yguys back. weh.. rindu alahai. 

tp cam. dh lupe kot masing2 heh. 

so yes thats how i basically spent my day after finished school. nothing much hm. 

went to kajang last few weeks and sleepover at nina's it was a blast!! i finally meet my sekolah rendah and form one punya kawan. after 3 years of not meeting them haih suka suka hehe. tp dyorg tk excited mybe im the one who overly excited to meet them tho. 

dah goodnite x